THAT’S WHAT THEY SAY Thought-Provoking Insights on Common Quotations by Rev. Marjorie Rivera
Minds and hearts have the ability to be open or closed. How your mind (or heart) is at any given moment, is really a choice. You are the one who gets to decide how you want to proceed.
I hear people say all the time that they got hurt, so they had to build a wall around their heart so no one could hurt them again; funny thing is that walls don’t know the difference between good stuff and bad stuff. Walls blocks out “everything” and walls will never stop protecting you from “everything” too. Building a wall around your heart or mind, is the same thing as resisting change, therefore entering stagnancy. To be alive is to be caught up in constant change, you can make the choice to be open to change. When we resist change, by walling ourselves off, we enter into stagnancy.
I do realize that when your mind (or heart) is open, you stand the chance of getting hurt. To quote my favorite poem “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
Choosing to stay open in the face of pain or suffering is not easy. Our natural instinct is to move, to fix it, to cover it, or stop whatever we perceive is causing the pain. There is something amazingly courageous about someone who has faced whatever pain threatened to close them up for good—whether it be a loss, a rejection, a defeat, the list could go on and on. Standing in defiance to our instinct to close up and wall ourselves off seems the most radical and innovative way to handle disappointment and suffering. I suggest adopting an attitude of flagrant acceptance. Actually go as far as to love whatever you think is going to hurt you. Try to remain open when you think you can’t. Challenging yourself to remain present and kind and loving, no matter what. Even if it hurts and sometimes things hurt. Sometimes, if we can learn to sit through the discomfort, we can learn to stay centered. We may even have a breakthrough instead of a breakdown. Breakthroughs happen when we start asking ourselves an important question, “What has this come here to teach me?” and begin to listen for an answer. These answers may surprise you! If you need help getting started, call me!
Outrageous Openness, Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver and Christianne Northrup
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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